Sunday, December 18, 2011


Yuan is now 1yr and 5mos. He's making a lot of cutesy gestures now and really sooo kagigil :)  We havent visited his Pedia for sometime now... my mom advised me to bring him there every month even if he is well... I used to do that before he turns 1 though but not anymore.

Ive been planning on making some journal about him but I was kind of lazy so I never really got to start blogging about his birth or what not. :)

SO let me start here.

The Conception

I was rather in a complicated situation when he was conceived. But I wanted Him. I want a Child.
I knew it would be really difficult. In all aspects. First of all, me and his Dad aren't married yet. And my parents didn't know I was pregnant. They didn't know me and his Dad has something going on, and on top of that, I knew my parents will never like him for me...

For 7 long months I kept my pregnancy from my family. And Friends. I guess that was my only regret. I wish I was able to show everyone How proud I was because I was gonna be a mom. Funny though, that my friends didn't even noticed until I told them. :) But i just realized that they didn't suspect that I was pregnant because they didn't know that I'm capable of such thing (read: premarital sex ). So when I told them they we're really shocked and they were even more shocked when they learned that I was 7 months on the way...

But actually I didn't really kept my pregnancy. I was just not telling anyone about it. If only they asked me, I will tell them the truth. I was kind of embarrassed pa nga when they told me later on na they didn't tell me about the weight that I was putting on kasi I might get offended.They thought that I was just simply getting fat. hahaha :)

On my 8th month Nel and I decided to find a place in Laguna
cause we want a place close to my relatives... for my birthing preparation.

37 Weeks and Counting

Everything was going on smoothly until my 37th week when my OB had me undergo IE. Not even 1 cm open. Kind of normal until this period. She said I still have around week 40 for my cervix to open... But It didn't. My OB was still not that worried though. She prescribed me a rosehip Oil that would help thin out my cervix opening so that when Yuan's head starts to nudge against the opening it would then be easier for him to break through. Still No luck.

I was starting to get worried that my cervix was still too tight at 40 weeks.

When week 41 came, I was really really worried. I even got teary eyed during one of my check up with my OB. It was my first pregnancy and  I don't want any type of harm to my child.. My OB talked to me that at the rate that we were going it is highly possible that she might put me under C-section. I really had no problem with that but of course I really don't want another big stitch in my body that I will endure and carry forever. But she said that if I really want to have a normal delivery, she will have to do an induction but I had to have another  Ultrasound (the scoring one) which I have to pass 8/8 and a Non-stress test which I learned was quite expensive. These are necessary because from these tests we would know if the baby can survive the stress that he will be going through If I were to push through with the Normal Delivery. She said that I can still think about it because we only have until the following week (week 42) to deliver my baby...

All these tests, will slash off about 3.5k from our existing budget. Plus still NO Assurance that the baby will be delivered NSD.

During this time, the birthing money that we were saving was starting to get smaller day after day. I don't want unnecessary additional expenses and most of all, I want to make sure my child is SAFE. There was no point going under Normal Delivery if it will harm my Yuan.. No Way. I thought about it and decided that I want to see my child NOW. I was also thinking that I knew in my heart that I would still go for C-sec even if we pass all those tests because I was afraid something might happen during normal delivery... atleast when i go for C-sec it's only ME that is in 50/50 during the operation. MY child will be safe.

I called the Hospital. Called for a room reservation. I decided to give birth in Ospital ng Muntinlupa instead of In San Pedro Doctors where I usually go for Pre-natal check-up.. My OB is a doctor there as well..

It is my parents Wedding Anniversary on JUL 1, I chose this date for my yuan. At 9 pm we were at the hospital with all our things. But the OB on duty at the emergency room was adamant to have me confined. She said I have to let my OB know first and that I will have to talk to her.. I told my OB my decision. But she refused and she instructed me to still get all the tests she was asking me to get.

My excitement died down. Hmp. So we went home with my Yuan still inside me :)

I had all those tests accomplished by Friday and Saturday. Monday came ( Jul 5, 2010) and I went to my OB again for my Pre-natal check up with all the tests results she asked me to get. We talked and I explained to her why I came up with that quick decision. add to that, I was so afraid to wait for week 42 which is a dealine. I don't want my Son to pu-pu inside cause it might put him to risk.

She said that maybe,  I have pampered my baby in my tummy too much that he liked it inside very much. She said it does happen that when a fetus gets really comfortable inside, it takes a while for them to realize that its time they should see the world already :)

The Appointment

So we decided that I will deliver my baby the next day Jul 6. I was scheduled to be at the hospital at 10am. She instructed that I can still eat dinner when I get home that day. But I have to make sure that I have no food/water intake by 12 midnight already. OK. Copy that.

Nel and I went up to Shell Mamplasan to withdraw some money we will be using for tomorrow... On our way back to Inay's house we passed by an ihaw-ihaw which I normally ignore but this time, I bought some liver and pork ihaw. I ate it for my dinner with some rice..

The Meeting

At 8pm, I felt I have to take a leak. I did. When I got up from my sitting position, as I try to pull my knickers up I felt some gush of fluid going outside my body.. It felt quiet sticky, like that of the egg white.. I knew HE WANTED TO SEE US NOW. (!)

I was curious I looked at the bowl and I saw some hint of blood, just like what Louie  (my cousin) was telling me about that once I saw a small amount of blood in my underwear, its an indication that baby's gonna come out.

Nel assisted me going back to our house to get our things and wait for Papa and Mama to pick us up. While walking back to our house some neighbors were looking outside their window wishing us good luck. My baby is quite popular even when still inside my tummy. :)

At the hospital, the anesthesiologist try to delay my operation in a bit because I just had my dinner. He started administering anesthesia on my spine at 11.20 pm. On my first operation before, they had me fall asleep so I didn't know they put me on anesthesia until I woke up... so this would be my first time to witness an anesthesiologist at work! :) They curled me up. Three people holding me trying to tear me apart. Joking! They had me in a fetal position and all three tried to crunch me. I guess they were trying to put some space in my spine where the needle will be inserted. Its a  2.5inch needle mind you. :) Contrary to what other people say, Epidural for me is quite bearable. Its the shame of being in that baby position in my whole nakedness that is hurting me!

 He said that he doesn't want me to sleep during the operation because my stomach was still full. He also explained that what the Anesthesia does to our body is it repels all the warmth in our body. Therefore the numb feeling. It also makes one choke in some instances. That's why he didn't want me to sleep. He said that he wants me to be able to spit out what I have in my throat if ever I get choke.. Now that scared me!

As the anesthesia starts to take affect, I felt my body getting numb from my Tummy going down. Somehow I can feel them working on my hip area. I can feel someone lift my leg... I can feel someone touching me there.. probably putting some.. inserting some.. I don't know.. At this time there were about 4-5 people working in that room. As I looked at the glass door leading towards the adjoining delivery room, I saw my body's reflection. I saw my tummy. For a while I was even planning of watching them cut me up from the glass door. It was a bit hazy then, I feel a bit sleepy too cause it late already...

I remember moving my hand. Pinching my hip. For a while I had some weird flashes of them cutting me up even if the anesthesia was not yet absorbed by my body 100%. I told the anesthesiologist about it... He told me that they were not yet gonna operate on me.. But maybe to give me some piece of mind, he got a little injection with needle and put it against my  chest/ skin.  He asked if I can feel anything. I said Yes. A bit. He repeated it and put it against my right arm, then my left arm. Then back to my chest.  Then he changed the syringe size and got the syringe he used for my spine. The big one. he repeated the same tests and this time I couldn't feel a thing anymore..

It was really hazy, I think I fell asleep for a sec they I woke up, then fell asleep again. I can hear them talking. My OB was so madaldal :) they were talking about diesel etc... the anesthesiologist was seated beside me. He was the one holding my head. I had some difficulty breathing... I just realized that i was breathing through my mouth.. then I remembered having a slight colds few days ago. That could be the reason why it was difficult to breathe. As we progress, my difficulty breathing progressed too. Im my mind I was already panicking! But I decided against it because I don't want complications because  I think they are still in the process of getting Yuan out.. Then I heard my Doctor said. Baby's Out! 1.06am. I just will never forget that. Then I heard him cry. I felt like crying too...

Then I heard my Anes told me... "Gwapo oh!" :) That put a big smile on my face and made me forgot my breathing problem.

They put my son in that plastic transparent box where they were trying to dry him and got all the water out from his mouth, nose, and ears. I was watching him the whole time. He was so wonderful. The best and the most beautiful in my eyes. I saw that he's got really long legs and fingers too. Yey. I hope he grows up tall... Basketball Player? That would be nice. or a Doctor? Whatever he likes! :)

I really thank God for a successful delivery of my Son. All the wait was worth it. When he was all cleaned up, They brought him to me put him in my chest and let me kiss him on his cheek. Sweet!!!

And my Anes told me this time " Sabi sayo gwapo eh". I'd like to tell him "I know right?" Hahahaha I'm soo happy and Blessed.  This made me smile much sweeter. How I love my Yuan.

Most of the time I think about what my friends think about my pregnancy, as I'm pretty sure they didn't really expect this of me. I couldn't care less no matter what they think to be honest, But sometime I feel the need to explain myself because I don't want them to think that my child was an accident. NO. Ive wanted this. And I think the story about Yuan's Dad should be on another post as this one is quite long already...

Yuan is 1.5 yrs old. Smart. Strong. Very Good looking (he takes after me I guess which is good! ) Very receptive. Makulet to the nth power :), Very healthy, Great Body, Quite Lean, Oh how I adore you... Most of the time I still question myself if Im being a good mom. I'm really trying my best anak... Please be patient with Mama, if sometimes she's being masungit and strict :)

Funny but Ive always been scared of the fact that I might not be able to bear a child. But here it is.. proven. FACT. All I can say now, despite all the hardships--- THANK YOU LORD. THANK YOU FOR MY SON YUAN ♥

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