Half-hearted

I just got back from watching the premier night of "A very special love" hehe, twas super. Luvet! I was halfway out there you know, if only the movie wasn't that good maybe I wouldnt have watched it at all, because half of my mind was occupied. I don't know... on my way back to the office I just came up with a decision, I was riding the elevator and my knees were trembling because of that. I didn't want that decision, but I have to. We, girls, sometimes falling in love shocks the hell out of us. And the freaked-out me chose to ran away. Oh well, guess its not meant to be. I was braver before. But as soon as I have admitted to myself that maybe I am inlurv-- oooopss! I don't even wanna say it. Admitting it would weaken me, I know.

This decision makes me sad. I never wanted this. I didn't want it to end. But sometimes we're left with no choice if we want to save atleast what's left of us. If ony he was a bit older... siguro mas magkakaintindihan kami... bakit ba laging issue ang age? diba dapat hindi naman? Pero kasi yun ang problema e. Siguro kasi di pa siya ganun ka matured, so minsan di pa niya alam kung ano ipa-prioritize niya... this is not the right time for the two of us siguro. Not when Im 24 and he was just 19. This won;t be the right time for us kung hindi niya pipiliting mag adjust. I cannot do it alone.